I was told that I might need to update...

I've had little bits and pieces of things I thought I might want to add to the blog but I wasn't sure... so here are my thoughts for the last couple of weeks...

Its crazy how God works... It seems like He has been hitting me upside the head pretty good lately with all the same topics. I started this bible study by Beth Moore called "Believing God", and I've realized how much I don't trust in him. I don't trust Him for my future... like with finances or relationships I might have. Like the fact that I really want to be married some day makes me wonder if He will keep that from me since that is a desire of my heart. Where did I come up with that??? I know that God needs to come first in my life and THAT is my desire right now, BUT He also wants to give me the desires of my heart. He's a loving father that wants to bless me if I just have faith in Him. So that's my desire right now. I want to be in a deeper relationship with Him and have Him be my true love! So the past couple of weeks have been sermons on hungering and desiring God or asking God to relieve me of my unbelief and to grant me more faith. I just need to embrace that!

Also, I've been thinking about what a hinderance my shyness is. I know there are good qualities about it... like I'm better at building close relationships one on one. Or shyness can make me be a better listener. But sometimes, especially lately, or thinking of future events, I just feel trapped within myself. Like I know that I'll probably always be shy somewhat, but I want to be able to have my personality come out more. So I'm praying that God will "free" me of myself...

Other little things... I got my elliptical machine yesterday. Now all I need to do is put it together and I'm on my way of getting to be buff! (yeah right!) Also, I bought my event tickets for Marco Island, FL this year... so that's very exciting. It looks like it will be a lot of fun! I can't wait for the end of April!

That's all for now... have a great week!

Psalms 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Words can not express the sorrow that is felt in some of life's events... I used to think that this was just a common piece of Scripture, but really, let God's Word comfort you. Prayers are being sent up and love is being sent your way....

Wow!

This has just been a great day! Let's rewind to last night...

I went out with my friend Christina to dinner and a movie... we went to Tokyo which was good as usual! I just love fried rice! And then we headed to the movies... we saw "Hitch". I really liked it and one day I want to own it. I just love Will Smith. It was really funny and just a cute movie. FF to today...

I woke up this morning and actually managed to get ready early enough to eat some yummy maple and brown sugar oatmeal. I've chatted with friends this morning which was nice... and the weather is great! Although I was proclaimed a nerd by my roomie, its so great to see the temperature warming up so fast in the mornings. Like right now its 72. *sigh* I'm loving it! I got to get out of the office to go buy a DVD player and some headphones... and my coworker treated me to soup,salad and breadsticks at Olive Garden! YUM! Tonight looks just as good. I'm hoping to see my friend Julie... take Gussy for a walk, eat yummy crescent hot dogs and then we have bible study tonight. Its just a great day! And yes, I am a dork. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

I just wanted to wish y'all a very happy Valentine's day... for those with that special someone, enjoy the time together and let each other know how much you love them. And V-day just isn't for those mushy couples, let your friends know what they mean to you. A lot of times I feel lonely, but when it comes right down to it... I am so blessed to have my friends in my life. I know I can count on them for encouragement and truth in all things... I cherish each and every one of you. :)

Also, I'd like to "dedicate" this blog to a very special little boy. Sadly, Stanton Haynes passed on to be with the Lord yesterday... a day before his 4th birthday. While it was horribly sad to see what his family was going through and the struggle this little boy had, I am so encouraged by his family's faith in God. Reading their past journal history continues to amaze me. I started this work day in tears over the news of this little boy, but uplifted at their faith. Please pray for his family and friends...
http://www2.caringbridge.org/la/stanton/

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well, I started this bible study tonight... the workbook actually. The group of girls seems pretty good... they are all around my age. I'm thinking the oldest might be early 30s, all pretty much newly married. So its a little akward for me b/c they all know each other but I'm hoping to get past that quickly.

Anyways, back to the workbook... The first day was talking about how believing God means that you have faith in God. And not only is it faith but a faith that is active... meaning you are continually faithful. I realized that's not me all that much. And while I am certain of my salvation, my faith is not something that is continual. I'm going through a time of unbelief I think. Not believeing that God would give me the desires of my heart, unbelief in myself to be open enough to hear His will in my life... just in general. Its funny how that applies just to me... if I pray for others, I truly believe He will answer.

So its my prayer and plea that I get past that. I want to have the faith that is active and where I am able to be completely and totally satisfied in Him with not thoughts of someone else there to attempt to fill His place in my heart. Like right now, I feel alone... and I want to pray or just listen to music but I want someone here with me... when in all reality, God is with me!

I was realizing today how little God is talked about among my friends. Sure, we may have the occasional prayer request for someone... but we never take the time to pray with one another. That's something I'd like to change... or just sit and be still and listen to worship music together.

So that's what is going through my head at the moment... I have a job interview next Thursday. Its in the Dean's office of Human Sciences working mostly with people give contributions to the college. Please be lifting me up in that area!

Spring Fever Anyone?

Yep, I have spring fever... too bad its not warm outside. And its going to be colder and rainy this weekend. Sad day. But I am ready to go through totally cleaning the house. And I mean, TOTALLY! Getting everything all nice and tidy and organized... getting my finances in order. I'm ready to feel that nice sense of accomplishment and pride when everything is nice and clean.

And I'm definitely ready to go outdoors! I'm ready for the days to be longer and to wear t-shirts and take the dog on long walks.

Enough tangent though... I have a website for y'all to check out.
http://www2.caringbridge.org/la/stanton/
Its about a little boy (soon to be four on Valentine's day). He's had a rough little life so far. His parents are involved in one of my 'Net friend's sunday school class. They set up a site to keep everyone involved in what is going on in Stanton's life. They are in definite need of prayers and God's comfort and love!

Super Bowl Sunday

So that's today... but I'm not going to watch it. I'm sure I'll miss some good commercials but we rented some movies instead! "Little Black Book" and "The Village" - should be good. And we're about to head out to Casa Ole! YUM!

Today's the first day since Wednesday that I've felt like I'm alive again. I don't if its the actual cold or the meds that wipe me out, but it isn't pleasant. I'm sure this work week will feel like the longest since I didn't work last Thursday or Friday afternoon.

Anyways, I guess I'll go for now. Not much happened the past few days, I watched like 5 movies yesterday (or parts of)...

Have a great week!

It's snowing!

Well, not much accumulation, but its snowing. I'm hoping for a delay to work tomorrow! :) Wishful thinking, I know!

Not much is going on... today I had a lovely little fainting spell while taking a shower. i'm still not exactly sure I passed out but I was definitely totally confused for a few minutes.... I think it was only a few minutes at least.

I got this book in the mail yesterday from Ebay... its on shyness. It has a great 1970's cover on it. So far its interesting... and I'm only on like page 3 on the Introduction. It takes about the varying degrees of shyness and how there are really no scientific studies on shyness. I'm happy that I'm not as debilitated as some though. I still might not want to do something totally stupid, but there are those that I am comfortable around. One scary thing though is that it talks about how those that are shy can have a lack of relationships that lead to intimacy... and I've wondered that b/c of my "freak out" over a blind date type situation last week. I think a part of me would be so scared if a guy I liked ever liked me back. I wouldn't know what to do... but we'll see. Hopefully that will happen in the future. I'm looking forward to reading it... I'd like to put to use some of the tips that the book promises to have... although they do say that there is no "cure" for shyness.

Well, only an hour of work to go. I hope the clock speeds up! Have a good night and stay safe!